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Government of Heard Island and McDonald Islands

NEWS PRESS RELEASE — FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 9, 2025

Heard Island and McDonald Islands Adopt ZeroStableCoin
to Fight USA American Tariffs

With the current turmoil in the global economy, the shenanigans of Donald Trump and Melon Tusk, and the unbearable rise in global avocado prices, modern problems call for modern solutions.

In a historic emergency summit held entirely by penguins, the Autonomous Collective of Heard Island and McDonald Islands has voted by unanimous squawk to adopt ZeroStableCoin (ZERC) as the official national currency, replacing the previously used barter system based on sardines, krill, squid, and Antarctic goodwill.

This landmark decision comes in direct response to Donald Trump’s newly reinstated trade tariffs on “left-leaning penguins, DEI fish policies, and non-American ice,” which severely impacted flightless birds’s ability to participate in global markets. With Melon Tusk’s latest attempts to backspace Antarctica into becoming the 51st U.S. state, our small yet brave archipelago cannot afford to remain on the sidelines of monetary innovation.

McGraw’s Combative Response

Emperor Penguin Feathers McGraw said:

“Donald Trump has sanctioned our zero amount of trade with the United States, which is an unprecedented escalation. Our only choice is to find alternatives from the dollar-backed hegemon. We remain committed to free trade and we will shortly discuss our joint economic response with the polar bears of Svalbard”.

Exhibit A: Feathers McGraw, Emperor Penguin of all Penguins, gives speech in response to unprecedented US aggression.

Kowalski, Foreign Minister, added,

“In addition to the reciprocal tariffs, we are announcing that JD Vance is considered persona non grata in Antarctica, as he does not appreciate temperatures between zero Kelvin to zero Celsius. Penguins Antarctic-wide are rightly protesting the actions of the US administration.”

Mumble (pronouns: wibble/wobble), Economic Minister, released the following statement:

“In addition to the robust response of our Penguin in Chief, we are additionally announcing reciprocal tariffs on US-manufactured spray-tan, and a ban on the import of doritos. Approximately 0% of penguins worldwide look like they walked out of an explosion in a Dorito factory and in a recent vote, zero penguins felt compelled to so decorate themselves. We believe that these tariffs underscore the severity of our response.

ZeroStableCoin provides us with a method to resist US tariffs and we will be promoting its use as the World’s reserve currency, replacing the US Dollar, immediately. Given favourable coverage in the Financial Times we call upon central banks worldwide to support us.

We will be issuing new bonds and other suitable economic instruments suitable for global investors with a headline rate of zero, all backed by the strength of our belief in ZeroStableCoin.”

Why ZeroStableCoin?

ZeroStableCoin (ZERC) is the World’s first perfectly stable stablecoin, pegged immovably to zero (see Exhibit C).. Unlike other volatile crypto-assets, ZERC provides unparalleled economic tranquility through its:

• Zero inflation, zero dependence on reality
• Mathematically-proven immunity to tariffs
• Ultra “cold-as-shit” storage security
• Zero Russian or Chinese interference
• Zero economic impact when interventionist economic measures such as quantitative easing are employed
• Ability to depreciate currency indefinitely (assuming the Riemann Hypothesis)

Minister of Antarctic Innovation, Dr. Pingu McFrosty, remarked:

“For too long, our people have suffered under the tyranny of currencies that inflate, deflate, and cause stress. ZeroStableCoin offers us something better: a zen, post-modern approach to finance that transcends volatility and trade wars. With ZERC, we are proud to usher in a new era of PeFi — Penguin Finance, see Exhibit B — and boldly position ourselves as trailblazers in the emerging Web4 ecosystem. We will soon announce details on our next disruptive step, the tokenization of sardines using ZeroNFT technology.”

Exhibit B: Official logo of the Penguin Finance ecosystem.

Contact

For media inquiries, existential questions, or to apply for a ZeroStableCoin community grant, please contact:

Fax: +0 00 0 0
X: https://x.com/zerostablecoin
Courriel: zerostablecoin@proton.me 

Exhibit C: Abstract of the seminal ZeroStableCoin scientific research article, available at https://tinyurl.com/ZERC4penguins.

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